Your Stories
Here we share your stories of sexism, sexual harassment and sexual assault in healthcare. Every story is a powerful testimony, describing lived experiences and the impact of sexual violence.
Thank you to every person who has shared their story with us.
Content warnings
These stories contain descriptions of sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual violence.
All Stories — Page 7 of 16
137
2nd day on Surgery as an F1. Was walking onto the ward to collect notes. A male nurse I’d never met before came up behind me without saying anything and started massaging my shoulders. When I turned around he said he’d mistake me for someone else. In the moment I did say anything because I needed to continue with the ward round and I didn’t want to be late for the consultant.
136
I have had the very common experience of being called nurse after introducing myself as a doctor (and wearing differing scrubs/ a stethoscope). However, I’ve also had patients, their families and seniors refer to me as “the wee girl”. I have never noticed any of my male colleagues be referred to as a “wee boy”.
Moreover, since starting anaesthetics training I’ve had the the rather rude experience of being interrupted by surgeons (usually male) while consenting patients for an anaesthetics so they can complete their consent process. Discussing this with other trainees it seems to only be the female trainees who are interrupted by the surgeons and it seems to also be that we are often interrupted as the surgeon has mistaken us for a nurse not the anaesthetist.
This is problematical on many levels, including not been viewed as a doctor by male colleagues and the idea that it’s OK to interrupt a nurses work.
135
Very junior doctor starting a new job – warned in advance that a particular consultant within the department was known for being sexually inappropriate. Within the week he had made a supposedly flattering comment about my eyelashes and had reached up to brush them and my face when he did so, also he used to have his hand on the small of your back when he was talking to you.
At the time I felt too junior to say anything. It was horrible.
134
I was involved in a conversation with work colleagues about the housing market. I mentioned that my boyfriend had bought a house recently.
The on-call consultant, whom I had worked with on numerous previous occasions, remarked, “Ah, she has a boyfriend! Now we have no chance!” The remark was unexpected, and made me feel weird and uncomfortable.
On the same unit, a different consultant (one whom I had also worked with on multiple occasions), immediately remarked that I had put on weight since he had last seen me over a year previously (when I had been an FY2). There was no preamble to this at all; I had not sought his opinion regarding my appearance. Again, I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious.
I was a 26 year old female medical trainee when these incidents occurred. On both these occasions, I felt that certain professional boundaries were crossed that were inappropriate. Due to the power hierarchy, I felt unable to confront them at the time.
133
When I was a newly-qualified doctor, I saw a patient in a urology pre-assessment clinic. He told me he had a lesion on his penis and I felt duty-bound to examine him. As soon as he exposed his penis, he grabbed my hand and tried to make me masturbate him. I withdraw my hand immediately and told him to get dressed and leave the room. As he was leaving the room, he came towards me and tried to kiss me.
I told my (male) registrar what had happened and he laughed (I think he was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say). I told my other more senior male registrar that I didn’t want to look after the patient when he came in and he agreed.
A few weeks later I saw the name of the patient in the admissions diary…still under our team. When I challenged the senior registrar he got annoyed and said “look, my wife is a teacher and sometimes she gets kicked by the kids”….as if to say “shit happens, get on with it”.
I told the male consultant who oversaw the surgical trainees. He said he could find me some support if I felt I needed it and gave me the details of the police liaison service if I wanted to press charges. On top of the distressing assault, I feel like I was failed by at least two, if not three, men who should have supported me.
I didn’t press charges as there were no witnesses and I was worried it would affect my reputation/training. I strongly regret that now. There was no come back for my perpetrator whatsoever.
132
When I (she) was a junior trainee, one of the senior male consultant anaesthetists came into my anaesthetic room and started joking with my male ODP about penises (an anaesthetised patient was in the room).
I felt uncomfortable and the consultant turned and said to me “I suppose you think I’m being unprofessional?”. I didn’t answer as I wasn’t sure what to say.
A couple of weeks later I was called into my educational supervisor’s office and told there had been a complaint made against me that I had accused a consultant anaesthetist of being unprofessional. I was upset that this unfounded and slanderous accusation had been made against me.
I didn’t feel able to challenge the consultant anaesthetist from fear it would a) be pointless b) affect my reputation c) make for difficult working relationships if I did a list with this consultant in the future d) affect my future job prospects.
In retrospect I should have asked for a mediated meeting with this consultant to challenge his false accusation. As it happens, he became the departmental lead and he gave me a substantive post so I’m sort of glad I didn’t rock the boat….but that is a dreadful message (!!) and I should never have been put in that situation.
131
I work with a near-retirement-age male surgeon who is mildly flirtatious. I normally just ignore his remarks.
One day he offered me a plum in the surgical coffee room in theatres. He said they were from his own garden. When one of his male surgical colleagues came into the room the surgeon said “*victims name* is enjoying my juicy plums”.
I felt quite uncomfortable but the problem with sexual innuendo is that it’s usually deniable and the blame/shame is put on the complainant for misinterpreting what was said.
130
When I interviewed for Medical School I had a panel of 3 retired male doctors, one of the first questions I was asked was “why should we accept you to medical school? the likelihood is you’ll get halfway through training then have children and give up
129
When I expressed an interest in applying for surgical training, a consultant sat down and drew me a graph of “the number of my eggs decreasing as I get older and through training” to try and put me off.
128
I was given a promotion at work to lead the admin team in our clinical service. I worked really hard for the role but when I told the rest of the team the community care team lead asked me who I’d slept with to get the job.
127
Throughout my surgical training I received many comments about my breasts. As a skinny person with big breasts naturally I couldn’t do anything about them. I certainly couldn’t hide them and would wear big tops to avoid attention but it never worked . I got referred to as the “big boobied trainee” by consultants, had consultants look down my scrub top because of course there were never small tops available. My boobs were often touched in theatre under the guise of needing to get access to the patient yet the hand would linger.
I was pulled up by the consultant when I said I didn’t like his behaviour and this lead to him not completing my ARCP outcome. Without my other consultant’s support I would have dropped out. I had many consultants ask if I would be better to do a more family-friendly job and eventually I did as I was told I needed to point my elbows more.
Looking back as an older adult they just wanted to keep the men there. I regret never reporting my consultant. But today I declare it and will never feel shame.
126
A patient I was working with made repeated and very explicit threats about how he planned to rape me and graphic sexual fantasies he had about me. I felt intimidated and did not feel safe on the ward. I spoke to my line manager about the situation. He laughed and said “well what do we expect, bringing a beautiful woman onto the ward?”. I felt uncomfortable that he spoke about me in this way in a one-to-one meeting and as he was so dismissive, I felt unable to raise it again so had to continue working with that patient for months.
125
More recently I’ve had male consultants come into our offices and demanding female staff to make teas. Make comments about weight and appearance. Dropping dirty scrubs on staffroom floors & hoping one of us might then sort it. Expecting us to clean around after them like a servant, rather than someone prepping and assisting with treatment and procedure. Demanding objects that are within arms reach. There’s very much a god complex with a lot of consultants, and there’s embedded classism as well as sexism within the NHS.
1950s Carry On uniforms all throughout the heatwaves this year, for nurses and HCAs (the ones normally working in wards without any working air conditioning). Doctors and office sector staff were allowed to wear what they liked. We weren’t even allowed to wear scrubs. Only given the option of being able to remove our tights on hotter days (we have to wear them with our dresses the rest of the year).
I was told by a member of staff that they could “see what I’d had for breakfast” on one of those days, commenting on a dress which was only slightly above knee length.
Strict rules regarding tattoos and hair colour, and other methods of controlling appearance that has nothing to do with infection control, and particularly affects women.
124
I was sexually harassed by a female colleague for months. She asked inappropriate questions about my sexuality and my partner frequently, and kept trying to touch my hand in front of colleagues. One shift, she tried to undo my bra over my clothing in front of a senior colleague. She once got me in a headlock in front of others and I went home crying. Her behaviour was inappropriate but never challenged and she was highly regarded by some. One evening at after work drinks, she waited until a colleague went to use the toilet and sexually assaulted me by grabbing my groin under my dress. I pushed her away and her immediate response was to ask if I was going to tell anyone. I think my colleague saw and commented jokingly. Shortly after, I decided to leave and she hugged me and kissed and slobbered on my neck. I cried as soon as I left. I didn’t tell my manager for months as I didn’t think I’d be believed and she was leaving for another job soon. I got a crappy apology and said she’d crossed the line, as if sexual assault was just pushing a boundary. I carried on working with her for a few weeks before she left. Months later after accessing specialist counselling, I decided to tell our manager and the police. While our manager believed me and my employer wasn’t very supportive and said it was up to me if I wished to refer to the NMC. I didn’t feel strong enough to drag it all up again, which filled me with guilt. I went off sick after reporting to the police and got redeployed. The police didn’t take things further after eventually questioning her. Initially, they tried to deal with it as a dispute between colleagues. Despite moving jobs several times in the five years since the sexual assault, I’ve never felt completely safe at work and I still can’t bring myself to go on work do’s or after work drinks. I’m very sensitive to office “banter” as I know what it can lead to when unchallenged.
123
As an F1 working in the urology department there was a consultant who frequently used to ask me inappropriate questions such as whether I had a boyfriend or commenting that I should go out with one of the older male registrars.
On one occasion in the doctors’ office he was sitting next to me whilst looking at imaging results on the computer and placed his hand on my thigh. I froze and felt so shocked I didn’t know what to say or how to react.
On another occasion the same consultant took every opportunity to ridicule and belittle me on the ward round in front of the team and the patients, questioning my every decision or judgement. The other male doctors on the ward round said nothing and appeared amused at times. I could see the medical students with us looked shocked.
Eventually after what felt like a sustained effort to humiliate me I walked away because I didn’t want to cry in front of him. He followed me into the doctors’ office and when I tried to leave he physically barred me from doing so by placing his arm across my chest.
This man caused me significant distress. He continues to work in that department and I wish I had reported him at the time but I was so young and inexperienced, and felt afraid of not being taken seriously.