Your Stories

I have only ever told one person this story but in recent years it has upset me more and more as I realise now what this was . I said nothing at the time which culturally was not a surprise. I was an anaesthetics trainee in 1997/8. The mess had all the on-call rooms within it and was very vibrant. I was confident and always v friendly to everyone and the apparent life and soul of the party. You will probably think how could I have been so stupid twice.. but here goes.. There was a trauma and orthopaedic registrar who I did a lot of on-calls with. We had a good banter and that was all it was in my eyes . One night I was on-call and had been chatting in the mess. I then had to go on an ICU transfer with a head injury  and wouldn’t be back until 1-2 am. He asked me to bleep him when I got back. I said no as I would be tired and if possible would try to get some sleep (24 hr on-call). I think he had been keeping an eye out for my return as shortly after I got back and just into my bed he bleeped me. He asked me to pop to his on-call room (opposite). Thinking nothing of it I went over. He was in bed and patted on the bed for me to sit down. He then tried to kiss me and appalled I refused his advances and said no. He then accused me of leading him on. I left and locked my room. This behaviour of bleeping me continued and I was on labour ward a short while later. He kept bleeping me and I told the obs registrar the situation. The next time he bleeped the obs reg answered and told him to FO and that he was my boyfriend. I was never bothered again. The obs registrar and I were also friends. He was a widower. He asked me out for dinner and I accepted. We started a sexual consensual relationship. He also knew I was vulnerable and had recently broken up with a long time partner . The widower story made me feel he was a safe person. He never invited me to his home but he lived further away. I didn’t think anything of it. The gynae consultants said she was surprised I would have an affair. She then told me an outpatient’s husband had punched him in clinic as he was also having sex with his wife at the same time as I thought we were in a relationship. Apparently everyone thought I was a big of a goer / whore . She then told me that he was engaged to a fellow doctor and the widower story whilst true was a guise to make me feel sorry for him and to make me trust him. And he did this knowing what had happened to the orthopaedic reg. I was horrified and then blocked it from my mind for decades.

The recent reports about sexual harassment of female surgeons brought back bad memories for me. I was a staff nurse in a surgical ward in the early 1990’s, having qualified 2 years previously. I had, recently, become engaged to my now husband. My GP had referred me to one of the consultant surgeons as I had developed a breast lump. Previously, I’d had breast lumps removed by this surgeon so I had complete faith in him. He had also informed me, previously, that he had studied at university with a close family member of mine. He was a married man with children. During one of my shifts, the surgeon approached me as he had received my GP‘s referral. He requested to examine me and, because I trusted him, I consented. There was no offer of a female chaperone (therefore, no witness). I was led into an empty examination room and he proceeded to examine my breasts, very thoroughly. Then he proceeded to examine the lymph nodes in my groins as he said he was concerned I may have an infection. During this examination, he pressed himself against me and I felt him go hard. His breathing became heavy and rapid and I just froze. On leaving the room, I felt violated and unable to speak to anyone of what had just happened so I carried on with my shift. Who would believe me anyway? It would have been my word against the word of this powerful man. With hindsight, I should have insisted on having a female chaperone but I trusted this man. I was, and still am, a practising nurse and I was also this surgeon’s patient. The only person I felt able to talk to about the incident was my husband, and that was a long time after it had happened. Recent reports also reminded me of an incident I experienced at a prestigious university where I completed a degree not related to health care, after I had left school. At a one-to-one tutorial with a mature, renowned, married professor with children, the first thing he said to me was that I should wear a belt with my jeans as it made me look easy. I have found it cathartic to relate these incidents, albeit anonymously. A can of worms has been opened by recent reports, and rightly so. Hopefully, your campaign to expose abuses of power will result in workplaces becoming safer places. All the best for your continuing good work.

I was an SHO working in orthopaedics. The male nurse practitioner described me as the “shaggable one” in a fully staffed theatre including to consultant surgeon. No one batted an eye lid.

I was a medical student In theatres and I was asked to put on a light cover holder which essentially needed putting on a bit like a condom. The surgeon said to me that I obviously had had plenty of practice. I told him no I am Gay and he shut up and looked very embarrassed. Another time as a GP trainee I was working with an obstetric consultant who was known to sexually harass and belittle women. He started to complain that I was a stupid GP trainee and why was he lumbered with me and that I was nice to look at so at least there was that. He used to get very physically close to me and make me uncomfortable; he only stopped when he realised I was married to a women and when I started to stand up to him for his behaviour.

When I was a newly-qualified FY1, I worked under a consultant who had a reputation for being a bit of a pervert. I remember my (male) SHO telling me, before I met the consultant, that he “likes to tell rude stories”, and just to try to ignore him. That he was nearing retirement, that he was “old school”. Ward rounds would be filled with him telling lewd stories about things he had done, that seemed intentionally designed to shock me, to make me feel uncomfortable. Nobody ever said anything to him about this, and he seemed to enjoy my discomfort. As the FY1, I wrote the notes on the ward round, leaning on the notes trolley. If he had finished with a particular patient, and I hadn’t immediately finished writing the notes, he used to shove the notes trolley (and the wooden shelf I was writing on) into my abdomen. Again, nobody ever said anything to him; not the male SHO, or the male registrar, and I didn’t feel that I could. He was too senior, and had too much power.

When a junior doctor I was spending my hard earned cash on private pilot lessons. After a year and before I could fly solo I had to have a medical. This has to be undertaken by approved people and paid for. I sought someone out on the internet with the aviation health credentials (a GP in Chester) and had the assessment. He did not offer a chaperone and asked me to strip my top half to do a breast exam. I thought a bit weird but maybe this was a necessary screen as part of the medical?(it was just plausible enough) after he gave me a wink and said he would discount the cost of the medical as I was doctor. Felt a bit weirded out and when I spoke to my friend (we were learning to fly together) a breast exam did not form part of her assessment with a different doctor! This was 20 years ago and I never reported him.

I am an intensive care trainee. The head of one of the surgical departments came to our unit late one evening to hand over his last case. The surgeon recognised me, came over to say hello and pinched my bottom as he moved to greet me. He said ‘oh sorry’, not looking at all sorry, and I regret to say I laughed nervously and said it was ok. He then proceeded to put his arm around me and explain in condescending language whatever it was he wanted to say about his patient, calling me ‘sweetheart’ etc. My boss and another senior male doctor looked on and said nothing. I was so mad at myself later for not figuring out how to stand up to him at the time, though even now I struggle to know how I could have done so without jeopardising my career.

As a medical student I was observing in theatre. A member of the theatre team made a comment about my figure, grabbed me round the waist and later touched my chest. All the senior team were there and no one said anything.

Later, when I was a foundation doctor on a surgical ward, one of the registrars kept trying to get me to go for coffee with him, he could not take the hint it was a no. I dreaded working with him in case he mentioned it again.

I didn’t pursue a surgical career.