Your Stories

On one ward I worked on, I received comments about my appearance from male staff almost every day. Some of the staff would very obviously look me up and down slowly before saying anything. I received frequent comments about whether they thought I had gained or lost weight, what they thought of my hair that day, what my facial features looked like, whether I was look tired or my skin was looking glowy… it was relentless and was always something. I tried to dress in a plain and conservative way, did not wear makeup and kept my hair the same every day so that there was less to draw attention to my appearance. I felt so self conscious of my appearance during that job. I just wanted to do my job and do it well and didn’t want to feel like my looks were always being evaluated.

Our ward was mostly staffed by female Band 2 and Band 3 Health Care Assistants (HCA’s). The male Matron was keen to employ some males and said that we would never be able to appoint men at this banding because men wouldn’t work for this level of pay. He pushed to get Band 4 HCA posts in the service, stating more publicly that it was to get a better skill mix and that these posts would take on more responsibility. Males were subsequently recruited to the Band 4 posts, whilst the female HCA’s continued to work at Band 2 and 3. On paper, they should have had different roles but in reality they carried out all the same duties. All of the Bands were officially open to all genders, however there was a clear gender divide in who got recruited to which Band.

My ES (male) told me that if I want to make it in surgery as a woman, I need to keep my head down, be as unobjectionable as possible and do everything anyone asks me to as no one likes an outspoken, demanding female.

I was keen to apply for a position that I had seen advertised and so spoke with the Consultant Psychiatrist in the team to express my interest and find out more about the role. She told me that she is keen to appoint a male to the position so that they don’t end up with someone who then goes on maternity leave.

I am in a management role and lead a large team. I have had several experiences of men within my team who are much more junior than me being invited to represent our discipline in senior meetings or on interview panels instead of me and without any consultation with me about this, despite them not being qualified enough to take on those tasks. I have never experienced a woman in my team being invited in my place to given tasks that are above her level of seniority. This has been frustrating and when it happens, it leaves me disempowered and undermines my ability to effectively fulfill my leadership duties. It also creates challenges in managing those male staff going forward when my authority has been undermined in this way.

As an F1, I was made to walk towards the nursing station and back again, I wasn’t sure why. After the walk, the Consultant asked me, “out of 10 what do you think of that Physios (might have been a nurse) arse?” I hesitated, take a look at what I realised was what he wanted me to look at and uncomfortably answered “maybe a 7 or 8”. I realise, thinking back that it was really unacceptable despite finding it more peculiar than threatening, being young and impressionable. It is potentially more unacceptable because it was also acting as a test of my sexuality, considering this Consultant went on to ask indirect questions to my housemate (fellow FY1) whilst oncall together, about me, which would help confirm, I assume, his suspicions about me being gay. To which she replied why don’t you ask him yourself?! I was only out for a couple of years by this point and a little more guarded about it all. He also took my phone off me and briefly went through my messages (or pictures I cannot remember) in front of the team, which actually made my housemate more uncomfortable than myself.

One year during my Educational Supervisor meeting, they asked me: “When are you going to fit your exams in? Before or after you have children?” There had never been any previous conversations about my intentions regarding having, or not having a family.

In medical school all the girls would be told to stay away from this one cardiology consultant who did a lot of teaching. Unfortunately the med school arranged for us to shadow in groups on the cardiology wards and he often got assigned groups of med students to take on ward rounds. I realised what the older students meant during one of his ward rounds when he kept staring at our breasts during the round. He would ask a question then his eyes would go straight down to your chest and stay there while you answered the question. It would happen repeatedly during every ward round and we would give a supportive smile or quick “you ok?” to each other as we moved around the ward when his back was turned.