Your Stories
Here we share your stories of sexism, sexual harassment and sexual assault in healthcare. Every story is a powerful testimony, describing lived experiences and the impact of sexual violence.
Thank you to every person who has shared their story with us.
Content warnings
These stories contain descriptions of sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual violence.
All Stories — Page 13 of 16
053
On the intensive care ward round. Female consultant and me (the advanced trainee) running the ward round. Male charge nurse said loudly in ear shot when we were discussing a particular case with the team “what a pair of jumped up pieces of skirt”.
052
A male patient with a history of aggression (which wasn’t known to me) was transferred to the unit where I worked. The unit is miles away from the main hospital site and is nurse led. There were no doctors or male staff working on the unit at the time. The patient was abusive towards me , other patients and staff, but particularly me. I later discovered he had been the same towards another female staff member at a previous unit. Apart from the verbal abuse, he used his walking stick to threaten me, pushing it towards my face. The man attended the unit 3 x week for treatment. The man’s abuse and aggression towards me, other female staff and poorly patients continued for over 5 years. Incident reports, either verbally or through IR1’s and datix were submitted but no action was taken to remove the man elsewhere. The patient’s consultant tried to deal with the patient and also senior management There was no duty of care towards me and others from those in positions to do something to protect us. I left the NHS after 37 years due to my line manager and senior management (including Board level) being unsupportive and involving others in attempting to undermine me. Trying to break staff, rather than supporting them when faced with male abuse and aggression, seems to be the thing to do in the NHS towards staff who expect and deserve a safe and respectful working environment.
051
I worked there in the 90s I am male and because of my gender I was picked on by a member of staff who is female. She believed that a man had no place doing this job I left because of the constant picking at everything I did. The same with whatever I said. This person was my mentor so she was given the position and the opportunity to treat me how she wished.
050
While working a male HCA would try to hold my hand and hug me, despite me saying no repeatedly. At the end of our shift he asked me what way I walked home. I had to lie and say the opposite way, because I did not wanna walk to the bus stop in the dark and possibly having him follow me.
049
Our daughter was a medical student
We are GPs
He is a consultant (still working)She met him on her first placement: keen to learn, to gain experience
He is a consultant (still working)She got to know him: he flattered her and made her feel important
He is a consultant (still working)She was confused, bewildered and felt guilty. She took 3 months to report it to the police…. sexual assault alleged … legally required definition as her accusations were never tested in court
He is a consultant (still working)She took a year out, spent time in hospital. She answered numerous police questions, her medical notes examined, her text messages analysed and her diary entries read by all. She re-sat exams as she struggled to return to medical school
He is a consultant (still working)3 years later she was still a medical student trying to make sense of all that has happened. The case closed: medical note entry ambiguous, text messages too upbeat, not enough evidence
He is a consultant (still working)She is resilient. She knew the chance of conviction was small but had hoped for more
We are resilient as we listen to the News telling us daily of similar cases in all walks of life
We are so proud of our daughter who did what she knew was right
She is not a medical student now nor is she a doctor but she is happy and settled on a new path in life, and knows she is loved
He is a consultant and he is still workingThis is written with our daughter’s permission.
048
On placement at medical school in breast surgery, sitting in a clinic. Male breast surgeon examines a number of female patients in the afternoon clinic. Looks at the list and the next patient is a man, he sighs turns to me and says “I prefer the young ladies”!
047
GP clinical facilitator on placement asked me (a female medical student on placement) how long my partner and I had been dating and when we were planning on having children and how I would be able to balance having a career/ children; I doubt they would have asked those questions of my partner. Same GP was discussing a patients’ difficulties losing weight and pointedly asked me if ‘I’d ever experienced the same thing’ and looked me up and down.
046
As a junior surgery trainee, the cardiothoracic consultant at the operating table suggested that I improve my finger dexterity, “maybe by masturbating more”. Nobody in the room objected – Registrar, anaesthetist or scrub nurse. When I later complained formally, I was told that it was my word against his, because ‘no-one else could remember anything’. This was one of a string of similar incidents affecting me and other female trainees and medical students.
045
Earlier this year I was doing ward rounds with my registrar (senior) who, to male patients on the ward would gesture to me and say ‘and don’t we have a pretty female doctor with us today’.
Needless to say I found the rounds awkward, and felt objectified not only by the registrar, but also the patients who he was inviting to ‘check me out’ with. I explained to the registrar I didn’t think this was appropriate, but it took escalation to a senior to sort out. Thankfully escalation was all that was required in this case!
044
I am a male nurse. During my nurse training I felt sexually harassed by my fellow students on multiple occasions. The ratio of male to female students was around 60/1. I had female student nurses constantly making inappropriate sexual comments towards me. I was touched, repeatedly, I had my groin grabbed on numerous occasions. I felt intimidated and uncomfortable. But as a man, we just have to laugh it off.
043
Whilst I was a junior doctor, a male senior registrar harassed me persistently, with increasingly unwelcome comments, progressing to ‘accidental’ touching on the ward round etc. His comments included graphic descriptions of the things he would like to do to me. At the same job, an older male consultant touched female juniors on seemingly a daily basis. Everyone knew. It had been going on for years. Essentially he was the Jimmy Savile of the local surgical community…I no longer work in hospital medicine but I’m sure these things are all still happening to the current generation of female juniors.
042
Meeting with my educational supervisor during which I informed him I was pregnant. He said he had thought that might be the case because my breasts were much bigger than they had used to be. I was speechless and nervously laughed it off. Could feel my face burning from embarrassment. Found it challenging to focus on the rest of the meeting without constantly fixing my clothing to keep myself covered.
041
Having just reviewed a sick patient in ED I popped back up to discuss with the Consultant on call. He had the rest of the team – more junior doctors around the desk beside him. He told me to sit down next to him and I started to discuss the case. He called me ‘missy’, put his hand on my thigh and slid it up with his thumb on the inside. This would not have happened to a man.
040
I was being sexually harassed by a patient. I felt frightened and did not feel safe at work. I went to see a male colleague for advice who specialises in this kind of risk management and whose role it is to advise on issues like this. He told me there is nothing I can do other than to eat 10 doughnuts every night.
039
In our hospital it is common knowledge that one of the male matrons makes sexual advances to female nurses more junior to him. Many staff avoid leaving do’s and Christmas parties because he is so much worse when he has had a drink. If a nurse rejects his sexual advances then he targets her for months (or until she leaves); he criticises all of her work, spreads false information about her, publicly belittles her, denies her training opportunities, blocks any promotion prospects.