Your Stories
Here we share your stories of sexism, sexual harassment and sexual assault in healthcare. Every story is a powerful testimony, describing lived experiences and the impact of sexual violence.
Thank you to every person who has shared their story with us.
Content warnings
These stories contain descriptions of sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual violence.
All Stories — Page 10 of 16
098
I am not clinical but I worked as a personal assistant (PA) for a Vascular Surgeon at a top hospital back. Not only did I suffer from his and his male dominated followers (because that is what they are) but I watched and heard female surgeons in tears caused by this talented surgeon, but vile man. These female surgeons never complained they just moved on, probably experiencing the same elsewhere. It was a very tough time for me to experience this.
To cut a very long story short I took my grievance further, when one afternoon in front of a corridor of workers he said to me ‘there will be blood on the floor and it won’t be mine’ He was verbally threatening me and he loved an audience. I walked out that afternoon and fought my case and for others. I was on my own. It made me ill too but I wouldn’t give up and I was put on garden leave. This gave me the chance to gather lots of information. I didn’t succeed in getting his behaviour upheld, I did secure another position in the same hospital even though he tried to get me out, and I moved on. He and his team continued abusing females and nothing was done by HR.
Later I heard from other females who didn’t support me at the time, but now it was their turn. They called to apologise because now they knew what I went through and what I was trying to achieve. No one cares until it happens to them. I was his 4th PA, all the others moved on.
During his ‘reign’ I was the only one to bring his actions to the attention of HR, not that it did much good. His male followers knew and even asked me to drop the investigation because I was making him angry!! I refused and stated he had made me angry. They said they knew why I was doing it but not to quote them because they would deny it. This person became a Professor too a few years later!
This surgeon would never meet or talk to me on his own, he always had a group of male (young surgical registrars) behind him who sadly started behaving like him!!
When I started there a young surgical registrar had committed suicide. He worked in the department. On my first day of work there, rather confused by it all, I attended a memorial service led by the Professor. Little did I know then that this young man had failed his surgical exams and couldn’t face the consequences of his failure. He was found by a female researcher in his bedroom, he had suffocated himself with information from the internet.
There is so much more but no one listens and it’s covered up by all parties, and it’s wrong. This happened some years ago now but it’s still happening, the NHS is rife with bullying and god forbid if you stand up for yourself.
097
I worked with an O&G consultant who found a lot of satisfaction in talking about his genitals – in front of me but also in the presence of other consultants. He once asked me for the definition of virginity, then answered his own question that it is simply “the lack of opportunity”. He stated it’s not his fault that he is sexually competent and other people aren’t able to satisfy their women. He stated he was signed off to have sex, “under supervision but also independently”. When I told him this conversation was inappropriate, and if he continued that I would report it, he told me good luck because no one would believe me, and it was my word against his. I had gone into the office to discuss a Caesarean section.
When a group of consultants were later discussing a former colleague from another trust who had been dismissed due to sexual misconduct, one reported the case made him very upset – I asked is it because of the widespread culture of misogyny and sexual harassment – he said no he was concerned that if he doesn’t sign off trainees he would be wrongfully accused of sexual harassment as revenge.
096
I had a gynaecology consultant who would ask medical students what the purpose of a vagina was, and repeatedly stopped operations until he got the answer he wanted — that their only purpose was for sex. He always touched me and other juniors when he was talking to us (stroking our ear etc) despite obvious requests not to. The cherry on top of the cake was when I went to his office for clinical advice and he proceeded to ask me about my sex life, anal sex, rape and commented on my body.
When we (as a group of junior doctors) reported our extensive concerns, he was sent on an equality and diversity course.
095
I (radiographer) was teaching a male student how to take x-rays. We were both in tunic uniform and we looked a similar age.
Several patients said ‘thank you doctor’ to him and ‘nurse’ to me.
I was clearly talking him through the process in front of the patients too.
The only differentiating factor was he was male.
094
Happened to me throughout career.
Inappropriate touching/ groping.
Sexist remarks.
093
I was working as a staff nurse on an orthopaedic ward at the time if the incident. I was transferring an elderly man to another ward. The patient was not suffering from dementia. The patient dropped something on the floor, and I bent over to pick it up. As I bent over the patient groped my backside. I filled in a datix, and also raised the matter with the ward manager and the consultant responsible for his care. I never heard anything, and nothing was done.
092
I became ill due to stress of being a carer and working full time. I asked for carers leave / flexible working. I was turned down but a male colleague was treated much more sympathetically & supportive. I was told I was easily replaceable and I left the NHS.
091
Mental health has more male nurses than other areas of nursing. As a student nurse I was attacked by a male nursing assistant. Later a female staff nurse took a case against the trust about this unit that was predominantly male staff. I wanted to tell my story but was persuaded not to as it might prejudice my qualifying.
090
One of the leading consultants managed to obtain my number, and would regularly text me. Mainly enquiring into my personal business, or how I was doing, or when I was next in work. Nothing ‘obviously’ inappropriate, but the very nature of what he was doing was clearly inappropriate.
At work he would come to speak to me for personal / ‘silly’ or flirty chats, and ensure that we spoke about relevant patient cases alone in a small room one on one (where I felt very uncomfortable).
I soon found out that he has done this, and apparently stalked a number of girls in a very similar or worse fashion. As far as I’m aware, nothing has been done about it. It is very difficult as without him actually doing something that is obviously crossing the line, it feels hard to report, and on top of that, if you report it – could he ensure you suffer unwanted repercussions?
089
As an FY2 in orthopaedics I was told by one of the registrars that as one of the few female doctors I would be expected to bring in homemade cakes every Thursday for the X-ray meeting.
As a medical SHO in another hospital I was given ‘compliments’ about my appearance every day by one of the male nurses on the ward, often in front of my consultants and other members of the team. Comments which were considered ‘harmless’ such as that the outfit I was wearing that particular day looked particularly good, always addressing me as ‘the pretty doctor’, not by my name, asking for my number every day which I found exhausting having to repeatedly make excuses not to give. It made me feel embarrassed and wish I was invisible so I could just get on with the job. There was also a hospital porter there who would wolf-whistle every time I passed him in the corridor.
Whilst on a GP post recently when heavily pregnant a patient made a joke to the waiting room about the size of my bum. No one said anything.
088
When I was on placement in Cardiology, I was given the opportunity to go into a clinic with a very well respected cardiology consultant. I was looking forward to it as I enjoyed his lectures in previous years. I turned up to the clinic early, before he had arrived. I waited patiently outside his consulting room and when he turned up, without even asking my name he pointed at me and said ‘you, make me a tea, two teabags and one sugar’. I was so shocked I got up and tried to search for the kitchen, hands shaking in shock when I made it. I then took him his tea and started to read my ZeroToFinals revision book (I had exams coming up). He asked to look at the book, read the cardiology section and said ‘if you know everything in this book, you know the bare minimum’. Then after another 5 minutes he said he would take me to the nurses room instead, he only asked my name before introducing me to her. I asked a fellow male student who had the same clinic the following week and he had a completely different experience to me, no tea making and actually learnt MEDICINE. I complained to the university however little was done, he is still continuing to work with no consequences.
087
Being a newer member I’d always get the home visits. During a home visit, an older man complimented me on my figure, my bum and cleavage. Further visits, he was bolder and would start to grope me after I examined him. Starting with my bum and then my breasts; he’d always do it as I was leaving for the door. He asked me to examine his penis once and was completely erect during the examination. He threatened to tell everyone I had assaulted him unless we started a sexual relationship. I agreed to it. Eventually I left and went to another practice.
086
As a GP trainee I was told almost every week “we don’t employ women of child bearing age”. The practice is still – 20 years later all male with a token 2.5 day female GP likely to “deal with the women’s bits”. They are quite well known GPs now. This stayed with me & I locumed for 9 sessions per week up to 39 weeks with my first baby as I felt so unworthy & unjustifiable to have maternity pay & leave – after hearing these comments.
085
Women in senior positions where I work are routinely believed to be there because of how they look or because it is believed they flirt with male colleagues in order to get their jobs. I have heard numerous colleagues make comments about women’s makeup or youth or attractiveness as reasons why they are supposedly in the positions they are. I have also been told that being female is an advantage and this being used as a reason why I am not as good as a male colleague who supposedly will have had to work harder to get a similar role. When I have pointed out the problems with this then I am told that if they wanted to be taken seriously they should not wear so much make up and cover up more even though they were entirely professionally dressed along with various reasons why men are the actual victims.
There is no acknowledgement by these same colleagues of any structural disadvantages women might face. These are considered ‘choices’ or a natural difference between men and women such as being in caring roles outside work.
At the same time, female staff are routinely sexually harassed by patients in the ward with limited acknowledgement of the impact on staff and a dismissive attitude that maybe they are not cut out for psychiatry if they find it difficult to cope with. There are some pockets where it is taken more seriously but even then there are whispers behind the scenes about how ‘she is just difficult’.
Staff openly say they do not want to work with female patients as they are ‘bitchy’ or ‘difficult’ and they would rather deal with the ‘straightforward’ male patients even if that involves more actual risks.
084
I don’t have one story but countless stories (as do all my female colleagues). Harassment from patients about my appearance, groping, intimidation (including blocking my exit from a clinical room and threatening me with violence). Comments from colleagues including consultant colleagues of an inappropriate sexual nature, or sexist comments implying inferior abilities or knowledge. Very difficult to report given how much reputation matters in our jobs. One consultant I know of made consistently sexist (and also homophobic, transphobic and racist) comments to numerous members of staff with impunity, and yet in spite of complaints made he is still working in a very high profile hospital.