Your Stories
Here we share your stories of sexism, sexual harassment and sexual assault in healthcare. Every story is a powerful testimony, describing lived experiences and the impact of sexual violence.
Thank you to every person who has shared their story with us.
Content warnings
These stories contain descriptions of sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual violence.
All Stories — Page 10 of 16
092
I became ill due to stress of being a carer and working full time. I asked for carers leave / flexible working. I was turned down but a male colleague was treated much more sympathetically & supportive. I was told I was easily replaceable and I left the NHS.
091
Mental health has more male nurses than other areas of nursing. As a student nurse I was attacked by a male nursing assistant. Later a female staff nurse took a case against the trust about this unit that was predominantly male staff. I wanted to tell my story but was persuaded not to as it might prejudice my qualifying.
090
One of the leading consultants managed to obtain my number, and would regularly text me. Mainly enquiring into my personal business, or how I was doing, or when I was next in work. Nothing ‘obviously’ inappropriate, but the very nature of what he was doing was clearly inappropriate.
At work he would come to speak to me for personal / ‘silly’ or flirty chats, and ensure that we spoke about relevant patient cases alone in a small room one on one (where I felt very uncomfortable).
I soon found out that he has done this, and apparently stalked a number of girls in a very similar or worse fashion. As far as I’m aware, nothing has been done about it. It is very difficult as without him actually doing something that is obviously crossing the line, it feels hard to report, and on top of that, if you report it – could he ensure you suffer unwanted repercussions?
089
As an FY2 in orthopaedics I was told by one of the registrars that as one of the few female doctors I would be expected to bring in homemade cakes every Thursday for the X-ray meeting.
As a medical SHO in another hospital I was given ‘compliments’ about my appearance every day by one of the male nurses on the ward, often in front of my consultants and other members of the team. Comments which were considered ‘harmless’ such as that the outfit I was wearing that particular day looked particularly good, always addressing me as ‘the pretty doctor’, not by my name, asking for my number every day which I found exhausting having to repeatedly make excuses not to give. It made me feel embarrassed and wish I was invisible so I could just get on with the job. There was also a hospital porter there who would wolf-whistle every time I passed him in the corridor.
Whilst on a GP post recently when heavily pregnant a patient made a joke to the waiting room about the size of my bum. No one said anything.
088
When I was on placement in Cardiology, I was given the opportunity to go into a clinic with a very well respected cardiology consultant. I was looking forward to it as I enjoyed his lectures in previous years. I turned up to the clinic early, before he had arrived. I waited patiently outside his consulting room and when he turned up, without even asking my name he pointed at me and said ‘you, make me a tea, two teabags and one sugar’. I was so shocked I got up and tried to search for the kitchen, hands shaking in shock when I made it. I then took him his tea and started to read my ZeroToFinals revision book (I had exams coming up). He asked to look at the book, read the cardiology section and said ‘if you know everything in this book, you know the bare minimum’. Then after another 5 minutes he said he would take me to the nurses room instead, he only asked my name before introducing me to her. I asked a fellow male student who had the same clinic the following week and he had a completely different experience to me, no tea making and actually learnt MEDICINE. I complained to the university however little was done, he is still continuing to work with no consequences.
087
Being a newer member I’d always get the home visits. During a home visit, an older man complimented me on my figure, my bum and cleavage. Further visits, he was bolder and would start to grope me after I examined him. Starting with my bum and then my breasts; he’d always do it as I was leaving for the door. He asked me to examine his penis once and was completely erect during the examination. He threatened to tell everyone I had assaulted him unless we started a sexual relationship. I agreed to it. Eventually I left and went to another practice.
086
As a GP trainee I was told almost every week “we don’t employ women of child bearing age”. The practice is still – 20 years later all male with a token 2.5 day female GP likely to “deal with the women’s bits”. They are quite well known GPs now. This stayed with me & I locumed for 9 sessions per week up to 39 weeks with my first baby as I felt so unworthy & unjustifiable to have maternity pay & leave – after hearing these comments.
085
Women in senior positions where I work are routinely believed to be there because of how they look or because it is believed they flirt with male colleagues in order to get their jobs. I have heard numerous colleagues make comments about women’s makeup or youth or attractiveness as reasons why they are supposedly in the positions they are. I have also been told that being female is an advantage and this being used as a reason why I am not as good as a male colleague who supposedly will have had to work harder to get a similar role. When I have pointed out the problems with this then I am told that if they wanted to be taken seriously they should not wear so much make up and cover up more even though they were entirely professionally dressed along with various reasons why men are the actual victims.
There is no acknowledgement by these same colleagues of any structural disadvantages women might face. These are considered ‘choices’ or a natural difference between men and women such as being in caring roles outside work.
At the same time, female staff are routinely sexually harassed by patients in the ward with limited acknowledgement of the impact on staff and a dismissive attitude that maybe they are not cut out for psychiatry if they find it difficult to cope with. There are some pockets where it is taken more seriously but even then there are whispers behind the scenes about how ‘she is just difficult’.
Staff openly say they do not want to work with female patients as they are ‘bitchy’ or ‘difficult’ and they would rather deal with the ‘straightforward’ male patients even if that involves more actual risks.
084
I don’t have one story but countless stories (as do all my female colleagues). Harassment from patients about my appearance, groping, intimidation (including blocking my exit from a clinical room and threatening me with violence). Comments from colleagues including consultant colleagues of an inappropriate sexual nature, or sexist comments implying inferior abilities or knowledge. Very difficult to report given how much reputation matters in our jobs. One consultant I know of made consistently sexist (and also homophobic, transphobic and racist) comments to numerous members of staff with impunity, and yet in spite of complaints made he is still working in a very high profile hospital.
083
First female Regional College Adviser, an elected position, in this region and specialty. The men that preceded me all got awarded good merit awards, I didn’t even get the lowest.
082
I was on an MDT ward round – several consultants from different disciplines. I was the only female consultant. One of my colleagues stood back to let me through the door, he then guided me through with his hand in the small of my back letting it slip down to feel my arse.
I have had so many issues with sexism in medicine in my 20 years as a doctor. This incident happened in the NHS, but I no longer work in the UK. Thank you for your campaign.
081
When I was a medical student in my final year I did a rotation in orthopaedics. The senior registrar (male) asked me and my colleague what we wanted to do when we started our postgraduate training. I said I wanted to do surgery and his reply was ‘Surgery is not for women as one day your uterus will start calling and you will want to have kids. There is no place for women in surgery.’ I said to him that it was unacceptable to say such a thing and he just laughed.
080
I worked for a consultant who at the time was clinical director for the department. I started when I was 21 and the youngest female there. I would routinely be touched, grabbed on my waist, if I were typing they would come up behind me and rub my shoulders or make inappropriate comments alluding to if I had any secret piercings. The older female colleagues I worked with knew and would try to not leave me alone.
Another incident happened when I went into a cupboard to collect some admin supplies, it was a walk in cupboard, the doctor came in behind me and wouldn’t let me out, asked me what I would do to get out of the cupboard.
Following falling pregnant and having a child comments were made by this doctor that I was now “sullied”. I was told if I reported it I would never work in the NHS again due to their seniority, I have since moved departments.
079
Being told by a giggling 20-year-old administrator that he and the rest of my male colleagues, with the exception of two, but included the most senior male manager in the team, had compiled an Excel spreadsheet ranking the female colleagues in my department on sex appeal (weight, breast perkiness, etc).
The amount of effort it took to for these people to agree categories, send it to other people via email and to vote and collate the information was staggering. As was the complete and utter lack of recognition from the 20 year old that what told me was abysmal behaviour. I alerted a more senior manager who just smiled and said, “men just aren’t as mature as women” and “I am sure they didn’t mean to upset you”. It’s like you are the only person in the room that understands it shouldn’t be happening at all!
078
As a medical student myself and 3 female students were taught how to do a cardiovascular examination by a consultant surgeon (that should have been a red flag there and then). He insisted on showing us personally where the apex beat was by putting his hand inside our blouses to check we had one in the right place. We were told he would ruin us if we complained.
As a junior doctor I was told I would only get a SHO job in ED if I was prepared to sleep with one of the bosses. The same boss was loudly discussing if I was “up for it” with a colleague in front of other staff. He also asked me if I had received my “brown wings” and offered to help me get them – I didn’t have a clue what he was on about.
A cardiologist I was doing a post take round with commented that his ward round would go much better if all the “girlie doctors” would just get their tits out like X (another SHO who had large breasts), she was present when he said this and was wearing a very demure outfit.
I was repeatedly asked if I was married by senior male doctors. When I said no I was asked if I had a boyfriend. When I said no they laughed and announced loudly that I must be a lesbian then.I was humiliated on a ward round after I had a new hair cut. The consultant endocrinologist decided he would make a joke about how I must have been electrocuted. I asked him if he was trying to make himself feel better by making fun of me, he then kicked me off his ward round and complained to the Dean.
I’ve been asked at multiple interviews if I plan to have children.
I’ve had senior male colleagues suggest I should just go home and make my husband dinner instead of working.
I could go on and on…
Sadly it doesn’t stop when you become a consultant and it doesn’t stop when you leave the UK. My recent stories include being called a witches coven because a group of female consultants were seen having coffee together, being asked if my husband objects to me wearing the trousers, do I have short hair because I don’t want to look beautiful for my patients, being called a bossy bitch by a colleague and my latest one is being invited to be the hospital Equity and Harrassment Lead for the junior doctors – the CMO asked if I understood what harrassment involved, I told him that it would be impossible to find a female doctor of my years that hadn’t experienced harrassment, he then called me boudicca and told me he didn’t want me launching a feminist campaign.
And still we endeavour to succeed.